What is on your bucket list

After the wonderful movie The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, most of us actually wrote down our own bucket list. Here is mine. What's on yours?

 

 

1.      To see my daughters live long, healthy, happy and prosperous lives.

2.      To see my brother Steve step out of his wheelchair and walk.

3.      To see my future grandchildren and be a positive influence in their lives.

4.      To live my life with integrity which is the greatest honor I can give my parents.

5.      To earn the love of and share the rest of my life with a good woman.

6.      To have one of my books become a best seller so I can buy a villa at the Amalfi Coast.

7.      To see the University of Washington volleyball program win another national title.

8.      To see the 4^th of July fireworks at Lake Tahoe from an airplane.

9.      To spend one year visiting Italy and Sicily with my family.

10.  To see the Buffalo Bills win a Super Bowl.

Inspiration for "Five Years to Live"

Inspiration for Five Years to Live

 

This book is very personal to me and my family. My youngest brother Steve was paralyzed in car accident when he was 24 years old. This is an experience I hope and pray no other family endures. Shortly after the accident, my mother gave Steve a cassette recorder and told him to record his thoughts and emotions. Steve’s goal was to write a book from the patient’s perspective. He did record several hours of thoughts, but could never bring himself to write the book. He said reliving those terrible days would be too painful.

After I wrote my third book, Inside the Spaghetti Bowl, Steve said “Let’s give this a try. If it can help one person deal with this tragedy it will be worthwhile.” My parents, brothers and sisters all had our memories and experiences to draw upon, but to make this book as realistic as possible, Steve would have to revisit some very dark times.  He listened to his tapes and the horror he thought he had left behind engulfed him. He went back to the moment his car flipped on the New Jersey turnpike. His emotions poured out as he recalled those critical moments where he teetered on the breaking point.  Very few people have the courage to live through this experience and then go back and relive it in order to help others.

Steve said had it not been for the love and support of his family, he would not have survived. As difficult as it is for the injured person, the family is also changed forever. A mother whose son suffered a serious spinal cord injury told me: “This story needs to be told. This tragedy can happen to everyone without warning. It needs to expresses what a spinal cord injury does to the life of not only the person involved, but to their entire family as well. For those strong enough to face this overwhelming obstacle, it is a journey of love, endurance, and absolute triumph of the spirit. It will bring so much hope to so many people that find themselves in a nightmare from which they cannot awake. You will speak for all of us.”

After my going through this ordeal with my brother and my family and hearing the heart wrenching story from this mother, I had to write Five Years to Live.

Press Release for "Five Years to Live"

Young man aims to make lasting impact on others, despite facing his final years

Based on a true story, Frank Zaccari’s “Five Years to Live” is a heartwarming read about making the most out of a difficult situation

SACRAMENTO, Calif. – In “Five Years to Live” (ISBN 1478196904), Frank Zaccari presents the troubling question of what you would do if you knew you only had a short period of time left in your life. Based on a real-life story, this novel follows a young couple as they begin to plan their life together before a devastating accident threatens to take it all away.

Recently engaged, Michael and Donna are a successful couple who are in love and having the time of their lives getting ready for their future together. But when Michael is in a tragic car accident, their plans have to be put on hold. Michael becomes a quadriplegic, and due to constant infections and multiple serious surgeries, doctors give him the prognosis that he has, at best, five years to live.

Despite the heartbreaking news, Michael battles through his injuries and puts his last five years to good use. Not letting his circumstances dictate his lifestyle or outlook on life, the young man does everything he can to make a positive, lasting impact on everyone he meets.

“This is a love story wrapped around the devastation and overwhelming therapies associated with severe spinal cord injury,” says Zaccari says. “The scary thing is that it can happen to anyone. It is the phone call everyone prays they will never receive.”

 

Zaccari believes “Five Years to Live” will resonate with readers who enjoy a powerful and moving true story. He also hopes that it will give readers a better view of what paralyzed individuals have to endure daily as they struggle to live independently.

“Five Years to Live” is available for sale online at Amazon.com and other channels.

 

About the Author:

Frank Zaccari earned his bachelor’s in finance from California State University at Sacramento after several years as a military medic in the U.S. Air Force. After earning his degree, he spent 20 years in the technology industry in various positions from account representative to CEO. He also has experience in turn-around management of companies under $100 million, but he left the business in order to be the primary caregiver of his children. He currently owns an insurance agency, and he continues to publish books. Zaccari’s previous works include “When the Wife Cheats,” “From the Ashes: The Rise of the University of Washington Volleyball Program” and “Inside the Spaghetti Bowl.”

MEDIA CONTACT

Frank Zaccari

Email:              frankzaccari@gmail.com

Phone:             (916) 718-5517

Website:           www.frankzaccari.com

 

REVIEW COPIES AND INTERVIEWS AVAILABLE

Make someone smile today!!

I received this in an email from my Aunt. Take 60 seconds to read this wonderful story. It will give you time to settle your brain, gather your thoughts, calm down and end your week off on a positive note…. Everyone can do something nice for someone.

Potato Chips and God
A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato ...chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old man. He was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old man looked hungry, so he offered him some chips. He gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

His smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer. Again, he smiled at him. The boy was delighted!

They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old man, and gave him a hug. He gave him his biggest smile ever..

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? He's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked, "dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied "I ate potato chips in the park with God." However, before his son responded, he added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime! Embrace all equally!

Have lunch with God.......bring chips.

Email from a husband dealing with infidelity

I received this email from a man dealing with infidelity. He is reading my book 'When the Wife Cheats". The email broke my heart.

Dear Frank,

I found your book "When the wife cheats" on Amazon and knew immediately that I had to read it. Last month, I came home late from work and had a strange feeling something wasn't right. I went upstairs and found my wife in bed asleep with an empty wine glass next to her. I woke her up and asked if anything was wrong, to which she responded "no, nothing at all" and went back to sleep. Something inside me told me to keep pressing the issue so I did and finally she admitted that in her words "something had happened." To make a long story short, she admitted to sleeping with my neighbor, and then best friend, one night after we had all gone out for drinks. I had gone home early after drinking too much. Apparently it happened at his house on their couch with his wife passed out right beside them.

My wife has since admitted to one other affair that happened a few years back. I'm only half way through your book, but have found so many similarities between the character Denise and my wife that I had to write you. As you know, the depression, hurt, anger, etc that comes with infidelity is overbearing. This hasn't happened to any of my male family members or friends that I know of, so no one really understands how I feel. After learning of the infidelity, I couldn't believe how naive I had been. The warning signs were all there, I just chose to ignore them.

I asked my wife to move out last month. We have two daughters, ages 2 and 6, both of whom have handled the adjustment fairly well. We're going through marriage counseling but she isn't sure if she wants to continue being married or not. I've always felt divorce had to be a last resort, but I can't let myself be hurt like this again, and she isn't sure she won't hurt me anymore. Hopefully, things will work out for the best, whatever the outcome may be.

Thank you for writing this amazing book and for listening to my story as well..

Mike
********************
Michael,

My heart goes out to you and your children. There is nothing as devastating as infidelity. I have spoken or heard from dozens of men and women who are trying to "move on" with their lifes. I wrote this in my Blog for New Years. I hope it helps:

New Year Resolutions

It is that time where most people make promises, or better stated, wishes for the upcoming year. The vast majority revolve around losing weight, getting in shape, joining a gym, saving money or getting out of debt. Unfortunately most of these good intentions are over before Valentine Day.

Since my book “When the Wife Cheats” was released, I have spoken to dozens of men and women whose resolution is simply to “move on” from betrayal. This one is not so easy. Betrayal comes in many forms. We have all been betrayed by a friend or co-worker or a trusted employee. Although these betrayals hurt, we are able to move on fairly quickly. However it is not so easy when the betrayal is your spouse. I wish I had the answer – I don’t. I can only share what has helped me.

Whether you want to or not, you cannot escape the grief process (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, and acceptance). Unfortunately, these stages don’t always go in order. I still find myself going back and forth between them. It’s OK. This process is not an exact science. Spousal betrayal is made more difficult because your heart isn’t just broken, often it is shattered. There is usually a set time to fix a break. A broken bone may heal in six to eight weeks. A shattered bone or heart has no fixed time to heal. It is going to take far more time than you expect. Give yourself time.

Before you can pick up the pieces and go home you have to forgive yourself. Let me say that again; Forgive Yourself. You weren’t the worst husband or wife ever. While you may have done the best you could to make your marriage work, it didn’t work. You cannot make someone else happy or make them love you if they don’t. You may never forgive your spouse - that’s OK – but forgive yourself.

I used this quote in “When the Wife Cheats.” It helped me. I hope it helps you.
"There comes a point in your life when you realize: who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore and who always will…so don’t worry about people from your past; there is a reason they didn’t make it to your future."

Now I know this is far easier said that done. So here is another saying that might help. When you find yourself in the depths of depression and sorrow; when you don’t believe you have the strength to even get out of bed; when you have no idea how you are going to survive the next hour – let alone raise your children. Believe me you will have ALL of these feelings. When you feel completely overwhelmed – remember this:

Look up…Get up…And never ever Give up.

Never ever give up. You will get through this – you will survive and your life will be better than ever. Happy 2012 to everyone.

You will get through this Michael. It will be the hardest thing you ever do...but in time your life will be better.

New Year Resolutions

New Year Resolutions

It is that time where most people make promises, or better stated, wishes for the upcoming year.  The vast majority revolve around losing weight, getting in shape, joining a gym, saving money or getting out of debt. Unfortunately most of these good intentions are over before Valentine Day.

Since my book “When the Wife Cheats” was released, I have spoken to dozens of men and women whose resolution is simply to “move on” from betrayal. This one is not so easy. Betrayal comes in many forms. We have all been betrayed by a friend or co-worker or a trusted employee. Although these betrayals hurt, we are able to move on fairly quickly. However it is not so easy when the betrayal is your spouse. I wish I had the answer – I don’t. I can only share what has helped me.

Whether you want to or not, you cannot escape the grief process (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, and acceptance). Unfortunately, these stages don’t always go in order. I still find myself going back and forth between them. It’s OK. This process is not an exact science. Spousal betrayal is made more difficult because your heart isn’t just broken, often it is shattered. There is usually a set time to fix a break. A broken bone may heal in six to eight weeks. A shattered bone or heart has no fixed time to heal. It is going to take far more time than you expect. Give yourself time.

Before you can pick up the pieces and go home you have to forgive yourself. Let me say that again; Forgive Yourself.  You weren’t the worst husband or wife ever. While you may have done the best you could to make your marriage work, it didn’t work. You cannot make someone else happy or make them love you if they don’t. You may never forgive your spouse - that’s OK – but forgive yourself.

I used this quote in “When the Wife Cheats.” It helped me. I hope it helps you.

"There comes a point in your life when you realize: who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore and who always will…so don’t worry about people from your past; there is a reason they didn’t make it to your future."

Now I know this is far easier said that done. So here is another saying that might help. When you find yourself in the depths of depression and sorrow; when you don’t believe you have the strength to even get out of bed; when you have no idea how you are going to survive the next hour – let alone raise your children. Believe me you will have ALL of these feelings.  When you feel completely overwhelmed – remember this:

            Look up…Get up…And never ever Give up.

Never ever give up. You will get through this – you will survive and your life will be better than ever. Happy 2012 to everyone!

More Christmas Memories

Well it is Christmas night 2011. Everyone is dozing off after two days of wonderful food, gifts and some interesting and not so interesting conversations with family. We had a trip to the Emergency Room for six stitches in a two year olds head after a nose dive into an end table; we had the boy friend of one daughter NOT show up for the Christmas Eve meal; and my sister was awaken at 4:00 AM to take care of her two toddler grandchildren so her son-in-law could bring his wife to the hospital for their third child. There never seems to be a dull moment nor lack of drama at family holiday gatherings. I wish I had a answer about how to deal with the drama - I don't.

The movie Home for Holidays is on- with Holly Hunter and Robert Downey, Jr. It is one of the classic dysfunctional family movies ever. It reminds me of one of the more interesting Christmas Eve dramas during my childhood. I used this story in my book "Inside the Spaghetti Bowl." The family just refers to this event as "The Curse."

No one can recall the year, but our most memorable Christmas Eve involved “The Curse”. Grandma Z was holding court. She boasted that she had twenty-two grandchildren while no one in her church and work social groups had more than six. In fact she said, “I have more grandchildren than all the women at my last card party combined.”  For those of you not familiar with the grandchildren phenomenon, here is the story. Italian grandmothers believe their place in heaven in based on the size of their family.  The theory was that if God blessed you with many children then in God’s eyes, you were a particularly important person. God would watch over you and if He felt you were an exceptionally good person, He would send more children your way. After all God would not give you more of his children to care for if you were a loser. You have to remember, there wasn’t much sex education being taught back then!

Grandma Z figured since she had five children and they produced twenty-two grandchildren, then by her math (four children minimum per grandchild) she should have eighty-eight great grandchildren and three hundred and fifty two great great grandchildren and so on. Grandma Z would have family tree so large that her place in heaven would be next to God Himself. Given how much Grandma liked to win, we all thought if she was that close to the throne, she might bump God over and keep the throne herself.

One of my female cousins said, “No way Grandma. I’m not having four kids. I just want two a boy and a girl.” To which Grandma replied, “You get how many God sends you. You don’t have a say in the matter.”  My cousin responded, “Oh yes we do. It’s called birth control.” The instant we heard those words, we all braced ourselves for the volcanic like eruption that was about to occur. Grandma’s face got so red that we thought her head was going to explode. She slammed her hands on the table and stood up and it yelled, “You people (whenever she was real upset you people were always the first two words) can’t practice birth control. It’s a sin. You’ll all go to hell and I am not about to have that black mark on my record. So you all just want one boy and one girl. Well as of this moment, I put a curse on all my grandchildren. You’re first two children will be the same sex. Now if you want a boy and a girl you will have to have three children. How do you like that?” My cousin knew enough to just back away. If she didn’t her twenty-one other cousins would have pulled her into another room. Grandma continued to vent, “There is no way Mrs. LaTona is going to have more great grandchildren then me. Oh she would just love that.” Then with a wave of her arm she said, “You are all cursed.” Aunt Mary then intervened and started to get Grandma ready to leave for midnight mass at 9:15.

After Grandma left for mass, all the cousins got together and started to laugh. My brother Frank said “Can you believe that?  She put a curse on us. I think Grandma has finally lost it.” Everyone laughed and thought this will be a good story to tell the next generation.  None of us took her curse seriously, to quote Julia Roberts from the movie Pretty Woman, “Big mistake! Big! Huge!” Eighteen of her twenty-two grandchildren became parents. In every case they had two boys or two girls. After the third or fourth occurrence my cousins with one child all started to panic.  Whenever they would find out if one of us was pregnant with their second child, the phone calls would start.  When they found out Frank was going to have a second child he received the phone calls. “Find out the sex of that baby” they would insist. His response was, “I don’t care. I just want a healthy baby.” “Well find out and let us know because we and thinking of having a second child, but someone has to break the curse first.”  I am here to tell you, NEVER EVER laugh at a curse from a full bloodied Italian Grandmother. My cousin Phil finally broke the curse. But by the time he had children the rest of us were long done with having babies.  Grandma won. The curse worked. I can hear her laughing in heaven.

So my point is drama at family holidays is inevitable. Just go with the flow and take good notes - it will give you great stories for many generations. Merry Christmas and a very Happy 2012 to everyone.